Episode 117: What’s stopping you from creating the business that you desire?

Key Highlights [00:00:26] You need this more than better skills

Jody Milward

Key Highlights

[00:00:26] You need this more than better skills or more knowledge   

[00:01:49] How to uncover what’s really keeping you from building a business you desire

[00:03:12] What really happened the time I ‘bombed’ a client campaign   

[00:09:15] How to reframe and crush the power of negative self-talk  

[00:12:21] My #1 tip to take control and get focused

[00:13:13] Use this technique to STOP you from spiralling down with negative thoughts


[00:00:00] If you’ve ever felt like throwing in the towel, giving up, thinking that I’m never going to get this business to work. This episode is for you, because let me [00:00:30] assure you, you are not alone. So let’s dive into what is really stopping you from creating that business that you are desiring in this episode of Online Confidential, where we go behind the scenes to talk about ‘Secret Ad Manager’ business.

As we’re wanting to grow our business, and sometimes things are just getting stuck, and it seems like no matter what we do, [00:01:00] nothing’s working, and we might think it’s to do with our skills. Or we might think it’s to do with our systems or lack thereof. So they’re the things that we’re actually trying to fix.

We go and do all these courses about learning more about this area of expertise that we have. We are looking for these templates that we can just plug in, so we can have these systems and finally have everything in place to grow our business. But even after getting all those things, [00:01:30] you still feel like there’s things missing.

You still feel like you’re on that struggle bus. Clients come and go, and you’re on this rollercoaster of emotions, and you’re thinking and saying to yourself, ‘oh, why can’t I do it? It’s just never going to happen. I’m no good at this’, blah, blah, blah. Negative self-talk. 

The thing that is really going to stop you from building your business or having success and living that life that you desire is your mindset.

It’s those thoughts that are going on inside our [00:02:00] head that could be sabotaging us from what we actually want and desire. But there’s this voice that’s just always bringing us back maybe to what you might see is reality or grounding you, whatever it may be. It’s just holding you back. 

We are complex creatures. We grow up in these environments that may be great, may not be great. May not be the ideal environment that we would like to be in now. And maybe what we have for our children. We are [00:02:30] growing up in a little pool of other people’s stories that are generational from our parents, from our aunts, our uncles all those around us who are influencing us from a young stage.

And their stories come from those above them and then those above them. So we are this little pool of everybody else’s emotions and thoughts and feelings and ideals. And it’s as we go through life that we start to experience things and we start to [00:03:00] form our own ideas and sometimes, what happens with the experiences that we have, we make them into stories based on what we have grown up with.

What really happened the time I ‘bombed’ a client campaign

And it’s those stories that are going to make us or break us as we go through life, as we set our goals and our dreams and desires and as to what we are going to achieve or not. So these stories can really have such a negative impact on your business. So you can have all those skills, you can have all those SOPs.[00:03:30] 

But the stories that you are telling yourself could be the things that are just sabotaging all your success. Now I want to share a story with you of one of the stories that I told myself. So I was working with a client, a very influential client. Running campaigns for them, had great team members on board, super experienced with this niche, this vertical, et cetera.

And so we were running their ads. However, things didn’t go as I would [00:04:00] like. Initially, we got great sales in, everything went awesome, but then it was very slow going and it just wasn’t ideal. And for me personally, I had a few things going on at the time as well, I was in a bit of a funk, which affected my mindset.

But again, I made sure that I had the team members on board who were properly looking after things. So I had everything up and running. Things were getting looked at, managed as they should be, but my mindset was telling me other stories. [00:04:30] So when we parted ways, we worked together for three months and parted ways, and I thought, oh man, that was such a disappointment.

What an opportunity, I’ve messed up, blah, blah, blah. All the negative self-talk. And I was like, there goes that again. I’d hate to know what they’re saying about me. Hello? Have you ever thought that? We’re too consumed with worrying about what we think other people are worrying about with us or saying about us. 

Whereas chances are they’re not saying anything at all. [00:05:00] And that’s such a waste of your energy to be worrying about and thinking about what you think other people are thinking about you. 

So we parted ways. And it was like, oh very disappointing, blah, blah, blah. They must hate me. Maybe not to that extreme, the negative self-talk. 

A few months later I just happened to be in Las Vegas, I live here in Australia, so I was over in Vegas and Vegas is huge. And this was also a time where, there was huge [00:05:30] crowds in Vegas because there was an event going on then as well.

Huge, huge crowds. And I was just in one of the hotels. And even then, right with the hotels, there are so many places, those hotels are huge. There’s floor and floor and floor and all the levels. So very, very big place and area, and just so happened I walked straight past these clients, these former clients, who I was disappointed with the results that we’d got with them.

So I walked past them, they didn’t see me at all. And it was [00:06:00] like, ‘oh, that was them!’ It was a complete, random thing. And I told the person I was with ‘Hey, that was such and such’. And they went, ‘do you want to go say hello?’ 

And I’m going ‘no, no, I’m not going to go say hello. They’re not going to want to see me because, it didn’t go too well’. 

Though, like I said, it went fine. No complaints from their end at all. It was just like, yeah, things haven’t, and there was a lot of other things that were going on, but we just stopped working together and that’s fine.

That happens all the time. So I was [00:06:30] like no, no, I’m not going to talk. I wanted to go off and hide. I didn’t want them to see me. I didn’t want them to lay into me how disappointed they were with me. Okay. All of these things were like going through my head and feeling all these emotions.

Then, I left Las Vegas and didn’t see them again. It was all good. But then a month later I get an email. And it’s introducing me to another extremely high profile [00:07:00] client referring me to work with them. And I was like they’re recommending me to this entity? And I was like, holy cow, they mustn’t have been that disappointed with what I did, after all. 

So it just goes to show. These thoughts that we can have in our head, that can consume us, can completely rob us from so many opportunities. We’re too busy consuming our thoughts and our emotions with these [00:07:30] stories and what we think others are thinking about, what we think people are thinking about with us, or even getting out there, getting visible on video.

What are they going to think about me? They’re going to think I’m an idiot. They’re going to think, I don’t what I’m doing. All this negative self talk is going to rob you from any success. 

So in that story I shared, there was none of the feelings that I thought that they would be feeling. None of that at all, in fact, recommending me to another colleague.

So we’ve got to watch [00:08:00] those things that we’re thinking about. Another thing that has haunted me over the years, because you see we’re never going to get to that point where we are just cruising through. And if you’re ever following someone who just seems to have it all together, it’s very likely they don’t.

There’s that saying, new level, new devil. There’s always going to be these little demons that are going to try and sabotage your thoughts. So even though you may have mastered your mindset or mastered what you’re thinking about in this one [00:08:30] area, You’ll get out of your comfort zone, you’ll overcome it.

You’re into a new comfort zone where things aren’t so comfortable. It’s an uncomfort zone. And then these negative thoughts can be creeping in all areas. So for myself, like for years. Sales. Sales calls. Not one of my strong points, not one of my most favorite things to do. 

I’ll be on a call with someone and I just want to go into teaching mode. I just want to go right, here’s this, do the strategy, do the plan, do all the things. 

A sales call is not the place to do that. A [00:09:00] sales call to be unpackaging things, coming from a place of service. And then you help them over in your course or your program or with your services.


But I just want to go into teaching mode. So sales calls are a learned skill, a framework to follow. And for years I would say to myself, I’m no good at sales. I suck at sales. I hate sales, blah, blah, blah. So I was putting all this negative self-talk in and thinking I’m hopeless at sales, I’m hopeless at sales.

How to reframe and crush the power of negative self-talk

Whereas in fact, [00:09:30] at that stage I had two businesses that had both done over seven figures in revenue. So the clear cut evidence there, was I can actually do sales. I can do them, but my mindset was so caught in the negative self-talk that it would just be something that I could just freeze at rather than seeing the truth of the situation.

So that’s just what I want you to look at today. What are these stories that I’m [00:10:00] telling myself from things that you’ve grown up with? Maybe it’s actual things that your parents have said referring to salesmen, ‘oh, those greasy car salesmen. They only want your money’.

Is that a story that you now have in your head when it comes to sales? Is it cold outreach to potential clients where you’re going, ‘oh man, I’m just spamming them. I’m in their DMs, like all these other sort of spammy DMs’. What is it that you’re telling yourself that is robbing you from the success, from creating the [00:10:30] business and the lifestyle that you are desiring?

Identify these things, turn them around. Look for the truth in it. Where you might say, like from my example, man, I’m hopeless with sales. I’m no good at sales. Actually, I’ve built two seven figure businesses. I’m obviously good with sales. I’m not bad with sales, I’m good with sales. 

So what is it for you?

My #1 tip to take control and get focused

It could be like, ‘man, I just suck at ads. I can’t get my client results’. Actually, I got my [00:11:00] client 10 leads that converted. Four sales for $3,000 each, and they made $12,000 off a $200 ad spend. Whatever it is, don’t minimize the success that you’ve had, the results that you’ve had. Even if you’re brand new to ads and you haven’t actually been able to get a client on board as yet, the stories that you could be telling yourself, ‘I don’t know what I’m doing’, blah, blah, blah, say, ‘I am courageous [00:11:30] because I have invested into myself to learn these skills’.

‘I have given up evenings to do this training. I am in the top whatever percent, 2% of people who invest into their ongoing learning and build a business that they’re committed to having success with’. 

What is it that you have done? Guaranteed, there are things that you have done that sets you apart from everyone else. Use them as an anchor point. 

Some real strategies here for you [00:12:00] to help overcome these stories that are sabotaging you, that’s limiting your mindset and your beliefs to the success that you want to have. 

First of all, I just want to say don’t follow your feelings. Lead them. Our feelings can be really deceptive, and we’ll start feeling something, feel a bit negative, we’ll feel like, oh, I’m just not feeling good. I’m feeling a bit down, and you can spiral so easily. 

How to STOP spiralling down with negative thoughts

Grab control of [00:12:30] that. As you’re feeling these things identify it. Think about what you are thinking about. If you are thinking too much about, ‘oh man, I crashed on this campaign, or, oh, I didn’t get the results here, or I should have sent that email yesterday’.

All this negative stuff, you are going to spiral down. So think about what you’re thinking about. Identify those negative thoughts. Do a pattern interrupt if you need to. Have an elastic band on your wrist, and just ping it when you think those thoughts, because that is actually going to make you stop in your tracks and identify it rather than [00:13:00] keeping on going.

That’s going to go STOP. Stop your thoughts now and replace those negative thoughts with positive thoughts. Instead of going, ‘oh man, that campaign really crashed. I’ve wasted a hundred dollars there. Just go 80% of ads don’t work. So I’m closer to finding that 20% that do. I’m doing all that I can’.

They’re in good hands with me. I’m testing these audiences, I’m looking at the metrics, I’m looking at the data. I’m doing the best I can, and we’re closer to finding those winning ads. 

[00:13:30] Identify those negative thoughts, turn them around with some positive thoughts. Write a list of daily affirmations that you can say each morning, perhaps a couple of times during the day, even as you are having these negative thoughts, have these affirmations that you can say.

I like to say that they’re ‘I am’ statements.

I am a great ad manager. 

I’m a great wife and mother. 

I am a great friend. 

I’m great at applying Facebook ads.

I’m great at analyzing the data. 

I’m great at being innovative when it comes [00:14:00] to the Facebook marketing. 

I’m great at communicating with clients.

I’m great at sales calls. 

I am statements. Write out a list of these affirmations. Think about what you’ve been thinking about that’s a negative statement that you’ve been telling yourself or these stories. 

Then write down the opposite as an ‘I Am’ statement. So you’re affirming yourself. 

I hope these tips have been valuable for you today. If you’ve been struggling with your mindset as an ad manager wanting to [00:14:30] throw in the towel and give it all up thinking it’s never going to work for you, let me assure you, you are not alone. 

I speak to ad managers all the time. Imposter syndrome, not believing the value that they bring to their clients so they’re continuing to charge these minimal kind of retainers. You can turn it all around and it’s not knowing more about Facebook ads, that helps. You could be the best ad manager in the world, but if your mindset isn’t in the right [00:15:00] place, then you’re not going to believe in yourself.

And you will continue to struggle. It’s not the skills, it’s not the systems. It’s your belief in yourself and your mindset. 

Don’t follow your feelings. Lead them. 

Think about what you’re thinking about and turn around those negative statements with some daily affirmations, some ‘I am’ statements.

Now, if this has resonated with you, I’d love to [00:15:30] hear it and I’d love to give you some further support and encouragement. So send us an email, 

I’d love to hear your story, and let me assure you, you’re not alone in this and you can do anything that you apply your mind to. Okay? 

Believe in yourself. 

There may be obstacles to overcome, for sure. New level, new devil, but just keep persisting, keep going through because you know what, you’re worth it. [00:16:00] 


That’s all for today, ‘til next time. Bye now.


I love to share practical information to help you improve your skills, learn something new or help you avoid the mistakes that many Ad Managers and I have made to help fast-track you on your journey as a well-paid and in-demand Ad Manager.